Art Studio

E l l a 's   A r t   S t u d i o

I know I am supposed to be sleeping while my daughter sleeps but I cannot help myself. I have been high on adrenaline for 8 weeks. I now have transformed my office into Ella's future Art Studio.

 People ask, "What if she is not artistic?" I cannot imagine my daughter not being artistic. I'm okay if she does not prefer it, but I will definitely introduce her to the world of art so she can appreciate it!

I painted my back wall with Black Board Chalk Paint and highlighted the top with her name. I found the ABC play mat at Buy Buy Baby and the tiny toddler table and easel at IKEA. 

It's fascinating to me, but as the pregnancy progressed, I knew my life was changing dramatically. I admit, I had a hard time thinking selfishly about the things I enjoyed might take a back seat. Never in my life was I prepared for this transformation. I cannot keep up with the ideas in my head for my daughter. "My office," for example, was a place for all "my things." It's a place where my writing takes place, a room where I paint, and four walls that hang all my favorite pieces of art, mementoes and pictures.  Now that she is here, my space is now her space and I am excited to share, teach and nurture her with all my favorite things to see, do, paint, create, etc. 

And so... our house has become Ella's and my life is dedicated to her. I seldom leave the house and I have been in the same pajamas for a day now. As she approaches her 2 month birthday I can honestly confess I created a masterpiece with her. Never in my life have I painted like the Manet's and Monet’s of the past or sculpted beauty like Rodin but I, me, and my hubby created the perfect daughter. We are so lucky and I look forward to our future together.

As I sign off, I can hear her breathing while she naps, I look up to the heavens and once again thank all my angles for this beautiful gift of life in front of me.  I just looked over my shoulder and saw one of my favorite illustrations on the wall. It is the one from my children’s book, Maurice’s Daughter, where I am on the floor of my Dad's Art Studio and I am creating my 10 year old masterpiece. I do hope one day she is on this very same floor creating her masterpieces.

I am fulfilled and life is a beautiful journey again...

I think God knew a daughter would be the best gift for me. I now know what my father felt when he had me. There is no love quite like a daughter's love and I am forever changed, extremely thankful and ridiculously blessed.

I started this blog based on my father’s grief and the book that was born from it. Now it has evolved about the lives left behind and the stories that unfold. There will always be the empty chair at the head of the table, the “What If’s” and the memories of his spirit. But most importantly the grief that is left in my heart is a reminder to me that I will never take a day for granted now that I have this new found purpose in my life. I am Maurice’s Daughter but now I am the mother of his granddaughter and I couldn’t be prouder.