USF Library Special Collection's Department

June 12, 2010
The University of South Florida Director of Library Development, Merrell Dickey attended the Barnes and Noble Book Signing last week and asked if I would be interested in having my book, Maurice's Daughter in the USF Special Collection's Department in the Library. Still shocked by the offer I met him for lunch this past week on campus.

So I pulled up and parked in the staff parking lot I use to walk through (wishing I had a car) from my old dorm when I was in college. Ironically, 20 years ago I remembered walking through the same loud, sliding doors (with my mom because she has always been with me for all my "New Beginnings") into the USF library to receive my library card and also to attended my first freshman orientation seminar. The instructor told a group of about 100 freshman that we need to take a good look to the person to our left and our right and know that one of us will not be here to graduate. I secretly prayed and wished for a successful 4 years back then in the summer of 1989. I looked around the room and thought "he doesn't look like he will make it, but she definitely will, etc." I did it in 5 years only because I blew out my knee at the end of my senior season playing Division I volleyball for the University. They kindly extended my scholarship for an extra year.

As I walked through the same electronic sliding doors the same feeling of complete "brrrr" takes over your body. Your teeth actually chatter for a bit until your body adjusts to the subzero temperatures. It feels like you are walking into a meat freezer but simultaneously receiving an arctic blast from the pressure of the air conditioning. Kind of like when you open the window on a highway in the Midwest and its about thirty below outside. Cold! I always think of the famous photograph taken in the filming of Billy Wilder's "The Seven-Year Itch" of Marilyn Monroe walking over the subway grate in New York and her beautiful white dress shoots up from underneath her. Its not that extreme but you now know the extreme experience upon entering. Some things were the same and some things had a new look. There was a wonderful aroma of Starbucks Coffee in the new lobby looming from the "Soon-to-be" 24 hour Cafe, the large Dewey Decimal cabinets with tiny index sized cards were replaced with new "cozy" couches and all new shiny Apple Computers. They were kindly donated by Apple and Apple now proudly has a street (USF Apple Drive) named after the famous and generous company on campus. The library always had a distinct smell. And yes, it still smelled the same. The scent of old books permeates not Chanel no.5.

Up the elevator to the 4th floor I met with the Director of Special Collections and she showed us around the 900+ titles under lock and key.

'The USF Tampa Library Special Collections Department- Established in 1962-Collects, preserves and provides access to significant collections of Floridiana, archival and manuscript materials, 19th century American imprints, children's literature, rare books, science fiction and sheet music for the use of the students, faculty and the public.'

We explored various isles of books and turned down the 7th or 8th isle and the first book that I focused (still refuse to get glasses) in on was Judy Blume's; Are you There God, It's Me, Margaret? I opened the first couple of pages and there was her signature in pen. I eagerly searched for "Fudge," my all time favorite as a child but the publisher has not sent that one in yet. Down from Judy Blume's section on the same shelf housed all of S.E. Hinton's books and The famous Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird. We heard some amazing stories over the next 2 hours. She showed us a 100k hand made book made from calf skin and a 29k book hand printed just for the library. They also have the smallest book ever made and it was about the size of my finger nail.

As I stood among the isles of special titles, I took in the moment knowing my book was about to be added to the collection as the first USF Alumna. I proudly signed my name and added USF Alumna 1994. There was no parade or fireworks. Just a small applause between 3 people knowing that USF just landed one more book and one very proud new friend of The USF Library. I laughed and told the director that she had to promise not to look at my transcripts from my freshman year at USF and reject the possibility of show casing my book. Thank you USF for giving a girl from the Midwest a chance to prove herself.

As I said goodbye and thanked Merrell for the day I walked away from the library I remembered exactly what I wore to my first day of school during the summer of 1989. I felt like I was watching an old movie as I watched my former 17 year old self walk by me heading off to college (mother in tow). I had on a pair of plaid, Olive Green shorts that went to the knee with a White blouse and my hair was in a ponytail. Later my mother kindly pointed out in old photo album that I had on the very same colors on my first day of kindergarten at St. Frances Xavier. Though, it was an Olive Green jumper with a White blouse and my hair was in pigtails.

Now as I sat in my car facing the library I smiled looking at the front door of the library with the exciting thought of the new chapter my book was on. I still had my hair in a ponytail, but I had on a fancier dress and was sitting in my own car. I am still the same girl from the Midwest, just a little bit older and trying to make a difference. I felt like I was leaving my book for her first day of school as another school year just started.
I am a proud Mama. Make me proud MD.

Barnes and Noble June 4th, 2010

I can not recall a time recently other then the week of my wedding last year that I felt this excited. I had a conversation with my husband over coffee recently and told him besides our wedding and the day I was born of course, that The Barnes and Noble Signing Event was right up with the best days of my life. He reminded me that I have said that a lot this year. I guess I have had some pretty good luck the past couple of years.

Last Friday was my FIRST (hopefully not my last) Book Signing at Barnes and Noble in Tampa, Florida. It was 7:05 PM and I looked at my husband and said, "If no one shows up tonight can you buy a couple boxes of books so they will invite us back?" As soon as I said that he proudly smiled down to me and told me to turn around. So I did and for the next two hours I happily signed away and met many new friends.

I took it all in for the first 5 minutes of the signing. Maybe there was a reason why I had a few minutes before people started to filter in my section. I loved the smell of Barnes and Noble when you open their heavy wooden doors. I was elated to see the table set up right in the front of the store with all my books perfectly placed on it. There was about twenty chairs set up around the table for all the special guests to sit and enjoy their new read. Above me hung the timeless book jackets and portraits of famous authors of our life time.

There was so much excitement and joy running wild within that at one point I looked down at the acknowledgement page in my book where my name was printed and was stumped with what to do next. I forgot for a brief second that I needed to sign the book. I sort of giggled inside and thought if anyone could read my mind they would fall over in embarrassment for me. I felt numb briefly. The feeling was, "Wow, is this really happening for me and my book." I held back the tears all evening until I saw the face of one of one my sister's oldest friends from Chicago. It felt like I was looking into my sister's eyes. She hugged me and she told me how proud she was while her sons were hugging each one of my legs. I told her if we continue this conversation you better bring a box of tissues for me. Later at the Post Book Bash at our new home we all celebrated with all the children stripping down to their underwear jumping into the pool. There was actual waves forming down at the deep end. I loved hearing all the laughter at 11 o'clock at night. Far beyond everyone's bedtime for those under 10 years of age. The last guest left at 2AM.

I made some fantastic contacts that night. A Chief Oncologist Pediatric Doctor sent his wife (he was sick) from a local Children's Hospital to purchase my book as well as a therapist from LifeSpan Therapy. But the best part of the evening was having Merrel Dickey, The Director of Library Development from The University of South Florida ask if I would want to have Maurice's Daughter in their Special Collection Department (www.lib.usf.edu). Now my body was going into shock. I couldn't even say the words to my mother on the phone later. I had to wait a couple of days until the emotion left the back of my throat.

What I want to be is very clear with the next chapter of this book. Being accepted into Barnes and Noble is the right direction that my publisher and I wanted my book to take. My motivation is not the monetary rewards with Maurice's Daughter. What I am really excited for is whether it's Barnes and Noble, or the next book store chain, a doctor, another hospice group and or hospital to carry my book by giving it a solid platform to help others in time of need.

I always knew I would be involved with public service. I have been in Education for the past 15 years. I never knew that the service would stem from the hardest and most difficult time in my life. I am moved beyond words by how the "Powers to Be" let me give hope and light to someone's darkest hour. What I know for sure is that the greatest gift I can give someone else now is my book. When I began to write MD I knew I wanted to create a soft and gentle approach to loss. A tool for anyone of any age, race, or religion to use so they could escape the cloud of grief. Though, I am not saying that this book will erase all the pain. My greatest hope is that it subsides the pain and lets the reader learn how to live with loss and give them hope.

For the second time in my life with book signings I forgot my favorite pen!